When & How to Say "No"

by Sammie Schlak

A conversation about the two-letter word that could save us so much time and energy is well overdue. That two-letter word is No. Slim in size, huge in meaning.

Let’s take a moment of silence for all the time and energy we have sacrificed all those times we said yes and really didn’t want to (LOL). All jokes aside, I truly believe being a “yes” person causes us so much stress and overwhelm.

I have a secret for you: It’s okay to say no.

First off, I do want to mention that there is a lot of power in the word yes. Saying yes can pushing your limits, allow you to live a servant-leader type of life, or even build your courage. But, at the same time, No is so underrated. Why? The word No serves YOU, not those around you. It’s difficult to say and, let’s be real, it’s misunderstood all. the. time.

When to Say No

If any of the following statements are true, you should say no 

  • This is not my truth
  • I am committed to an important project of my own
  • I'm not comfortable or not in agreement
  • My needs take priority right now

Fully Embracing No

Set yourself up for success because life is hard sometimes. If you focus on these six standards it will make the in-the-moment “no” a lot less stressful.

Know What Your No is Worth

Sit down and write out what is important to you and some of your goals. Maybe take a week and track the amount of commitments you make for yourself that don’t align or add value to your goals. This will show you the true advantage of saying no.

Always Be Thankful

You should always start with appreciation when saying no. “I appreciate the invite, but…” or “Thank you for thinking of me to help you with this project, but…” It should make you feel good that someone chose you! But, sometimes, you aren’t the best option.

Don't Make it Personal

Remember, you are saying no to the question, not the person. It is okay to say no to a friend! It isn’t about them, it’s about you and the situation.

Be Ready to Explain...More Than Once. 

Some people are very persistent with their request. Guess what? Its so okay to be persistent back. Stand your ground!

Having Priorities Means You Might "Miss Out" Sometimes. 

At first, you may feel like saying no to a fun night out means you’re missing out on “memories” or a “good time”. But, if you said no to push your needle forward, you aren’t missing out on anything! You are fulfilling your goals and passion. You should be okay with skipping one girls night for YOU and your future self.

Think About You.

You deserve time for yourself. You deserve to put your passions at the forefront of your daily life. Think about you and don’t feel bad about it.

How to Say No

Try saying no in a softer tone by avoiding the word, but still making the point:

  • "I can't take this on right now."
  • "I don't have time in my schedule for that right now."
  • "Thank you for thinking of me, but I cannot commit to that right now."
  • "As much as I'd like to help you, given my other obligations, I am unable to attend/carry out this project the way it should be."
  • Or, just simply say "No"

Or, try to commit to part of something without it all being thrown on you:

  • "I can't take on the whole project, but I'd be willing to help with a specific part."

Lastly, you might need to buy yourself some time if you truly don't know

  • "Let me think about it and get back to you."

Just remember that you saying “no” can give your “yes” so much more meaning! I hope you all found something to relate to in this article. I can’t wait to see you build your confidence with this word. We have our work cut out for us, but I think it’s totally worth it!

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